Extremely scattered Friday

Well I know it's been a while (almost a week!!!) since I said much of anything to anyone. It's been a mentally difficult week and those who know me know I'm a bit scatterbrained at the best of times and I find it very difficult to concentrate most of the time. I've made the leap (well kind of been pushed by circumstances) to running my own business for myself. Previously I worked for myself but didn't have to do all the paperwork and the admin side of things so I had it pretty easy and really it didn't count. This week I've had my first contract negotiation meeting which was nerve wracking. I knew how much I wanted to make but wasn't sure it was how much the client was willing to pay. Thankfully I got pretty much what I wanted and financially it's been a real blessing for us. Now I have to learn how to manage that money and the whole minefield of dealing with the tax office, working out what I can claim and what I can't and finding a way to make that money work for us. I'm not a numbers person - quite honestly it all gives me a migraine even thinking about it - but I'm also not a tolerant person of whiners either, the people who say it's too hard, I can't do it, it's too difficult, so I have no choice but to knuckle down now and find out what I need to know to do it myself so I don't turn into the kind of person I dislike. I've always been very confident and figured I could do whatever I wanted to if I had to and now will be a great time to prove to myself that I really can do something even if I think it looks hard now.

The kids have been "difficult" this week. Isn't that a polite term? They've been real little four letter words actually and both Doug and I have been really snappy and cranky as a result, thankfully not both at the same time! Caeligh decided today that she didn't want to go to ballet - as we walked in the door. She was fine at home, fine getting dressed, wavered a bit at Cass's place while Lily got ready but was okay again until we arrived. Then she clung to me, whined, cried, yelled, refused and generally chucked a hissy fit. Can't even tell you why. Don't even really care myself actually. It was just not the day for it in my books but I did persevere for a few minutes, putting her on the floor and trying to leave just to have her chase me outside the room and grab on again. The last time I checked they didn't beat them with sticks or anything so ballet surely can't be that bad. I think I gave up after having all the "perfect life patrol" mummies glare at me from the sidelines in the performance room (pretty accurate considering what Caeligh turned on for me and everyone watching) each time I brought her back inside. I'm normally a no-nonsense mummy and don't take crap but today I've just felt overwhelmed by the new responsibilty of running a business, by the stressy week with all four kids doing their utmost to test our patience and because I have just felt really "not with it" today ALL DAY. I'm cranky and grumpy and I don't know if it's anything in particular or just a combination of all of it. Probably all of it I guess. I can only deal with one disaster at a time so like any self-respecting mummy I packed madam up and took her home. I just could have done without the looks and the stares and you know the kind of mummies I'm talking about - the khaki and Ralph Lauren polo shirt wearing kind (thanks to Cass for this new classification of mummy that we've noticed lately). So that was how my Friday ended up and now I'm sitting here.....

I want to scrap but I don't know if I CAN scrap. You know what I mean? The will is there but I think when there's so much in my head it all gets tangled and my poor ol' mojo just gets lost in the clutter! Maybe I should do a layout about my overcrowded brain. Clearly there's not enough room left for rational though so maybe I should just open a bottle of wine instead. Oh no that sounds alcoholic!!!! lol I'll get a Coke and see if I can scrap anything. Between you and me I honestly believe that if a glass of wine while you make dinner calms your frazzled nerves and lightens your mood so you have just that little bit more patience with your kids then go for it. It's only if that one glass doesn't hit the sides and you need a second that you might be in for trouble.....

Does anyone have anything fun planned for this weekend? I'd love to hear about it if you do, hell I'd love to hear about it even if you're going to stay in and do laundry!!! Maybe we can have a contest about who's going to have the most mundane weekend? I've got a freebie pack of some Marah Johnson papers, chipboard and stickers for anyone who wants to leave a hi, hello or "I'm having a boring weekend" comment because I'm basically sad and want someone to talk to!!!! lol If you were going to say hi anyway then lucky timing for you! I'll get my "give that girl an Oscar" performer to randomly choose a comment and I'll let you know Monday who gets the goods.

I'm now going to try to get something done with the pile of paper I possess. Surely something will come to mind. Have a wonderful if boring weekend and thanks for having a read!

Cya, Lu