Thursday, 21 February 2008

Under control again.....mostly!!! lol

Well life has finally settled down if you can ever call it settled! So some nutshell updates:

Dad: I haven't even spoken to him in the last week as the little gold-digging houseguest has been calling him and harassing him and asking him to move back in. Although it doesn't look it, he really isn't going soft in the head but he's very emotionally manipulated and I'm sadly convinced he probably will let her move back in and she will make sure she gets what she wants from him, i.e. more money, her name on the will, the house etc. And do you know what I think? I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I love Dad but I've offered my help, my support and my advice and he doesn't want any of it so I've decided to stop wasting that mental and emotional energy on him when he obviously doesn't want it or listen to it. I have to accept that I cannot change what is going on and that Dad will do whatever he wants to do in the end so I haven't really spoken to him because I don't want to hear all the drama. I'll be sure to sure if anything else exciting happens.

Mum: When she went back into hospital the doctors discovered she had had ANOTHER heart attack so she basically stayed this time and last week she had a triple bypass surgery that took 7 hours. She's home again now but is going up to Townsville to stay with her sister which is fabulous for her because she really needs time to recover. The surgery has knocked her around a lot especially as she has other health problems as well so the time away will be good for her. The day she had her surgery I spent the day at the hospital with my sister and got to meet my mother's older sister for the first time. So weird to sit and chat to someone who remembers you as being a tiny (well 10lb 2oz isn't exactly tiny!) 2 day old baby. I loved chatting to her and had heaps in common which is nice to discover.

Kids: Well Blayd's hair is slowly growing back out a bit and I've shown him how to fix it with hair gel so it doesn't look so Julius Caesar (snicker, snicker!!!! after all it was his own fault!!! lol). Lachie is doing beautifully at school and it's so nice not to have to brace yourself before you chat to a teacher for once!!! James is getting on everyone's nerves a little bit as he's very spoilt by the MIL and it just makes for resentment from his brothers and sister, especially when she encourages the idea that he needs to be protected from his bullying "half-brothers". Can't believe anyone would make a point of that to a 6 year old but she has and it's causing quite a bit of tension between the kids that really shouldn't be there. We do however need the MIL as she is a huge help in picking up the kids for us from school so it's a rock and a hard place on that ongoing matter. Caeligh is slowly getting better, being less destructive and learning to listen more. I honestly never thought it would happen but I'm also doing my best to find more time to spend with her as I think I tend to avoid a lot of alone time with her as normally she is easily bored which leads to mucking up and bad behaviour and thus lessens my want to spend any time with her, which I think then makes her worse as she feels like she is being ignored so she plays up even more. Vicious circle and all that but I'm really trying hard to improve things.

Baby: Well thankfully there isn't one and the hormones have quietened somewhat. Maybe because I was stressed it was a way for me to be able to 'opt out' of all the drama if I was pregnant and had an excuse to have to rest more, work less and take better care of myself. But I do realise that's not the way I have to do it. I think destressing will come in the form of things like staying out of my Dad's stressful mess because I realise I can't fix anything for him, learning to say no and limit my involvement in the dramas around me when all it is doing is driving me nuts and not fixing anything for anyone else, and of course not underestimating the value of some kind of doctor prescribed anti-anxiety medication because I shouldn't have to feel like I'm drowning in worries and problems every minute of the day, especially when the dramas are mostly not even mine!

So I'm taking a deep breath, stepping back a bit and giving myself some space to be an observer instead of being so entrenched in everyone's problems. I have to learn that it isn't up to me to fix things for other people. I guess because I'm a bit of a control freak that I do tend to want to rush in and make it all better if I can. I think I really need to step away and let people start being responsible for their own crap and their own solutions for said crap. That's the plan right now and I like the sound of it so far.

Because I've had a better week this week I've even had some great mojo and that makes me feel even better about life in general. The ones up above are the few I've done this week plus a couple more that I haven't scanned yet. I'm enjoying my scrapping which is a definite mood enhancer!!! lol

I've been so wrapped up in crap for three weeks now that I've completely missed a deadline for a Scrapbooking Creations article and I'm going to have to finish that tonight and get all that sorted for sending tomorrow, along with a HUGE apology for being late with it. One of the few times in my life I can honestly say I've had waaaaay too much on my plate!!! I've just finished one article for SM and have another in the works to do shortly too. There are a few other things on the boil because FOR SURE I'm not busy enough!!! lol I do like having all these different things to do though, I just really wish I knew how to time manage better and not be so scatter-brained. Deadlines are really hard!!!!

Thank you to everyone who has emailed or called to see that I'm not going completely crackers - only a bit!!!! ;) I did promise to put the new Everyday Garbage challenge up properly and so I'm going to try to do that too tonight, as well as do the SC article and catch up on my forum chat at CyberScraps. See - I've been a good scrapper and updated my blog to begin with so I'm in the mood now and hopefully I'll get the other stuff done.

Thanks again for having a read through yet another whopper of a post. I'll really try to do this more often (update that is, not create whopping posts!) so that I can do quickies instead, much easier on the brain!!!

Chat soon, love Lu


Kat Browne said...

Babe, so proud of you right now. Yay you for deciding that your mental health is more important than beating your head against an emotional wall. Also really glad your mum went up to stay with her sister, she needs the rest, and hopefully it'll give her time to reorganise herself to get used to all the changes in her life.

Love to the kids (and Doug), I'm glad Caeligh's calming down a little for you guys, hopefully the James saga-ness will, too.

Love the new pages, they're all beautiful!

Take care, sweetie, and we'll talk to you real soon.

kerry said...

hey Lu good to see that you have scrapped a bit great layouts.And good to see that things have settled down a bit.take care love Kerry xx

jilly said...

Phew....Lu I'm so glad everything's okay - I'm too old to cope with your stress lol!
Layouts are absolutely STUNNING!!!

Lusi said...

Hi sweetness :)
WOW!!! Ok let's go in point form cause its late and there's so much :) lol
1. Layouts are FABULOUS honey!!!
2. Good thinking about your dad.
3. Your ma - my goodness: I hope she recovers well with her sister. Please pass on my love and best wishes!
4. "I guess because I'm a bit of a control freak that I do tend to want to rush in and make it all better if I can" Honey, you want to make it all better because of the BEAUTIFUL LOVING AND KIND heart of yours!!!!!! You want to help but i liked what you said about letting others taking responsibility for their own actions, etc. I think we can help where we can and then leave it to them {and prayer!}
Well my precious, love to you and Doug and the gorgeous kiddos too!
Lus x

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