Thursday, 30 November 2006

Yellow Wiggle hands over the skivvy

Doug just rang to tell me that Greg Page, the yellow Wiggle, has just announced his retirement from the group due to what I found out a little later in the conversation was a chronic heart problem which is not life threatening but means that he will have to cut back on strenuous activity to manage the symptoms of.

The pants-wettingly funny explanation Doug gave me was "he's had to stop being a Wiggle because when he dances and sings he passes out". PMSL!!!!! I laughed so hard for a minute I couldn't even answer him. There was this ridiculous soundtrack running through my mind of "Wake Up Greg" as he lies pole-axed on the stage and small children look on in horror while the other Wiggles just laugh and smile and call for the Big Red Ambulance!!!!

It is one of those horrible moments where your brain just laughs at the absurdity of something, not that having a chronic heart condition is by any means amusing, I think it was just the context Doug delivered it in.

I've discovered that there are some things in this life that you have to have a good cackle about because they are so depressing, awful, ghastly or gross and if you couldn't find a funny side to life these days then you'd probably be needing medication for some kind of depressive disorder.

Depressing - I want to go on a holiday but we really can't even afford to stay in a caravan park for a week and I bet if I asked if we could just bring our own cardboard box then we wouldn't be able to afford the site fee!

Awful - the fact that the lougeroom is a tip again after only cleaning it yesterday. Someone said that trying to keep a clean house while you have kids is like trying to shovel snow while it's still snowing (so true!)

Ghastly - Her Royal Highness having the biggest screaming, dribbling, snotting, crawling around on the floor, head-banging, coughing, vomiting tantrum of her entire life because her Dad had to take her to the Men's toilet (Yes Redbank Shopping Centre 2nd floor - shame on you for only having a "mothers room" in the Ladies toilets) and - wait for it - he would not let her stand at the trough and wee standing up!!! Tantrum lasted for an hour overall and she still WOULD NOT WEE in protest so at least I've learnt she has better bladder control than she is letting on!

Gross - Mr James using the bathroom for number two's and after hearing much grunting I come in to ask if he is okay only to be told in a completely calm and rational five year old's voice "Yeah I'm fine Mum, this is just what I do to make the poo come out. You should try it some time. You squeeze your tummy. It hurts a little bit but it works for me" After a moment I quietly leave the bathroom and vow never again to ask how he's going whilst using the facilities.......

See, you have to know, that same laugh people have as they're carried away to the NUT HOUSE!!!!! lol

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