Thursday 30 November 2006

Family Circle could have chosen a better verb

I'm sitting here trying to type while Doug admires the cover of the xmas edition of Family Circle (bought only because I don't have a "proper" wifey bone in my body and don't know how to do things like xmas dinners, stuff a turkey or artfully arrange the table with plastic baubles and bullshit my kids will only throw around the room like ammunition later anyway). So he likes the Mini Oozing Chocolate Puddings. Maybe it's just my background of working in administration in the hospital/medical field but from where I'm sitting, anything that oozes is never, ever good. So they like oozing as a verb for their puddings but all I can think of are the ghastly descriptive adjectives that usually accompany that word - things like festering, purulent, gangrenous, infected, eroded, eaten away, rotting.....I'm sure you get the picture (sorry about the bucket moment but it has to be said). To clarify a little more, I work for a group of gastroenterologists and when you spend all day hearing about what goes on down people's throats and up their bums, well quite frankly, oozing has never turned out to be a bonus in anybody's diagnosis yet.

So thanks Family Circle for completely putting me off your mini puddings with a poor choice of verb. I could have handled gooey, sauce-filled, surprise or even molten chocolate centre but NOOOOOOO you have to go and use that other word.

Maybe I can use a liquid paper pen to make that word disappear so I can focus on the "mini", "chocolate" and "puddings" that I was interested in to begin with!

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