Saturday, 17 March 2007
Feeling less frazzled today
I've woken up feeling less frazzled than I was yesterday. I'm taking notice of my word for the year - chill - and I've decided to do just that. There's no point working myself up over every little thing because that won't actually fix any of it, just leave me feeling depressed and deflated. So I'm going to just put the ducks in a row and shoot them all one by one!!!!!! lol No, I mean I will deal with everything in a calm and orderly fashion and try not to rush to the mental fire escape like I did yesterday when I let everything get on top of me.
I did sit down and do the Dares challenge (Window to my soul) but I'm afraid it was a reflection of how I felt last night, even though I like it and it happened in an hour flat! That's fast for me these days. The photo isn't great and I haven't scanned it yet so the alphas are actually inked bright red with black scribbly outlines, it's just hard to see on that shot and it looks a bit dark now I have a good ponder about it! Sorry about that chief!
The journalling reads: "Some days it's easier to have the curtains closed.....than to deal with anyone who wants to look inside". I guess to me it means that I sometimes withdraw myself even from those closest to me while I do my own mental/emotional stocktake and can bounce back to my usual self. It's not that I don't appreciate external love and support, it's just that I think I can sort things out faster in my own mind if I don't have to concentrate on other people at the same time. Cass will totally get what I mean by that because she's watched me slowly flake out over the last few days and she knows she just has to sit and wait for me to come back - which I have this morning!!! Love ya babe and I don't know what I'd do without you, who knows when to sit back and wait and when to come charging in with the cavalry!!!!
Cass and I are going to head off to Spotlight this afternoon and have a little motor around the place. I really wanted to get to the Paper Arts thingy (hi Jill I will definitely say hi if I make it over there!!!) but Cass went yesterday for the trade show for Cyberscraps and I don't know if I want to trundle about by myself. That's a bit nigel-no-friends really........and the last time I took Doug he very kindly sat down with two of the kids (Caeligh being only a couple of weeks old a few years ago) and kept them entertained while I did the smash and grab around the stalls by myself. If I go alone there's nobody to tell me that I don't need this and that and do I really want to spend that much on whatever......maybe it's safer if I don't go! I have to make my money last this fortnight as I don't get my first real full pay from my new client for another 13 days so best hang on to the cash methinks!
I'm working this morning but that's okay. Doug is over at his mum's place with James and Caeligh and the big boys are at their dad's place this weekend. Hope Blayd's cricket match went well today. We've got this little talisman thing going now where I tell him to retire before he leaves to play any match and it's brought him much luck so far so I never forget to say it to him now. I think it has a placebo effect really and he plays better as a result of him thinking I've bestowed the luck on him by saying it. Cute but hey who cares, as long as it works for him!
I'm going back to my typing but I really appreciate everyone who has come and had a look and those of you who have taken the time to leave a comment. Jas I hope you have fun at the wedding and Lusi I hope Brett's feeling better in no time. Prayers for him from me and enjoy your weekend.